Day 12

1 bag of crisps + dip
150g of chocolate

TOTAL KCAL:  approx. 2000kcal


So obviously I decided on a cheat day today. I actually decided on it a few days ago – that Fridays will be my cheat day – but I went a bit over board with the amount of crap I have eaten today but with the stress of my delivery of doom yesterday and just being a bit depressed I needed it. No regrets today.

Also!!! I had another delivery. A bed!!! YES! I am so happy about that!


I also got a confirmation of that my bedding is in the store ready to be picked up. I considered going there and getting it today but I would not be able to use it tonight anyway since I have to wash it. I’ll collect it tomorrow and instead use my old stuff for tonight – not the ultimate but it will work. I also need to get a mattress cover to protect the actual mattress since it’s so nice but that might have to be later.

Today was a much better day! 🙂


Day 11

2 black coffees, 0 kcal
1 snackpot, 252 kcal
1 propud, 144 kcal
1 sweet and sour thai box, 495 kcal

TOTAL KCAL:  891 kcal
KCAL DEFICIT: –1109 kcal


I have been listening to this song on repeat all day long. There is something in it that speaks to me so clearly; . The mood of it later became very appropriate because the guys who delivered my kitchen table didn’t deliver a kitchen table – they came with a couch… which I didn’t order… S.O.A.B!!!!!! This is so freaking annoying! Why does everything have to be such a struggle!?

I don’t feel like writing anything today… see you later…


Day 10

2 Belvita breakfast bars, 140 kcal
chicken tikka with naan, 643 kcal
1 energy drink, 20 kcal
2/3 GI-box, meatballs with quinoa, approx. 400kcal
1 propud, 144 kcal

TOTAL KCAL:  1349 kcal
KCAL DEFICIT: – 651 kcal



Today has been a pampering day. Mainly bleached my roots and recoloured it all with a grayis/blueish colour. It’s been ages since I went to the hairdresser to get it cut and I kindof just realized how long it has become. I have an undercut which I shave every few weeks and I recolour it every now and then on my own but the hair on top is now reaching past the nape of my neck and to be fair, it’s looking quite unhealthy at the tips – split ends and frizz galore. I can usually mask it with products and styling but it could look oh so much nicer by just going to the hairdresser but I also just realized that because of my weight, I just haven’t felt like it was worth it. I look like crap anyway so why spend a lot of money on my hair? It’s not going to make me look “acceptable” anyway so let’s just leave it. Even shaving my head or recolouring it hasn’t been as regular as it should be which a few years ago was one of the most important things in my life – which sounds really sad but it’s true.

I don’t know… once I’ve lost a few more kilos, maybe it’ll get better and I start to care a little bit more? Maybe I should have that as a reward; lose 10kg and go to the hairdresser!?

The delivery company for my new double bed also called today and they will deliver it in two days. I AM SO HAPPY!!! My new bed is about to come! It was supposed to come next week but it was ready early so they got in touch. The only problem is that I have not received everything for it yet – I put an order in with ZaraHome for a duvet cover and pillow cases that are really pretty – a little while ago and they say that they have shipped it but it’s not here yet. I have a big duvey which fits the bed but no beddings… hmmmm…


The duvet cover from ZaraHome

Interior decorations aside, food wise I’m alright. Didn’t finish my dinner again, mainly because it wasn’t particularly good but also because I’m less hungry now. Still figured I would eat something rather than completely skipping the meal. Had a propud for dessert, though.

Day 9

1 black coffee, 0 kcal
1 propud with granola, 150 kcal
2/3 GI-box, beef with cauliflower casserole, 340 kcal
chicken tikka with naan bread, 682 kcal

TOTAL KCAL: 1172 kcal
KCAL DEFICIT: -828 kcal


I’ve been feeling quite low and lazy today. Don’t know why. Sat on my balcony for a few hours reading and enjoying the air but overall it’s like I’m in a fog. Mostly I’ve spent time in front of my computer watching youtube videos, putting things away but nothing major.

The delivery guys for my new kitchen table got in touch this morning and said they would deliver it in two days which is great news! I have been looking forward to this forever! I’m a little bit worried about getting it through the doorway but hey! A little adventure is always good.

I tried the propud with granola for breakfast and I wasn’t a fan of the granola so I just had the propud. I have more of them in the fridge so I’ll just keep eating the pudding rather than the whole thing.


These are propud cups without the granola. Delicious!

Then I had a GI-box for lunch. I was hungry when I started eating but halfway through I just lost interest and in the end I ate about two thirds of it and left the rest. I feel that I have lost a lot of my interest in food – it used to be my main priority for so long and I spent so much time on it; going to the store every two days, stressing about the fact that I had just crammed a big bag of crisps and a load of chocolate into my mouth, cooking, planning and so on. Now I’m not doing any of that; no planning, no stressing, no actual going to the store and definitely no cooking! It means that my attention is generally somewhere else and I don’t obsess about food as much and so it becomes less important and my interest in it seems to go away a bit. I don’t know if that is all good or not…

Day 8

1 sweet and sour thai box, 495 kcal
1 snack pot, 252 kcal
1 propud, 144 kcal

TOTAL KCAL: 891 kcal
KCAL DEFICIT: -1109 kcal


Skipped breakfast this morning. I think I feel as if I need to make up for my slip up last week. Don’t know if it does any good though.

Went to the garden center and got flowers for my balcony. I literally know nothing about flowers – I’ve more or less killed every single flower I’ve ever bought within a week although the green ones (without actual flowers) I do quite well with – so we’ll see how this pans out. It didn’t take very long to get to the store; about 25 minutes all in all and that is without a car. Had I had one it would have taken me like five minutes but I don’t have that luxury. Still happy about it, though, especially since I used to live veeery far away from a proper garden center. I will definitely come back again.


The garden center

I also figured I would do it properly and went and got some dirt and the little pebbles you put in the bottom so that it drains properly. Couldn’t get it at the garden center since it’s too heavy to carry with the delicate flowers which was a bit of a pain but instead I wen’t to the local grocery store. Good news, though; I didn’t buy anything but what I came for – no candy, no crisps, no nothing! Well done!


The finished product!

The food delivery came today just on time. So now my freezer is filled with GI-boxes and my fridge is full of fruit and veg. I got a few propuds (pro=protein) and breakfast bowls just to try out and see if I like them and that is the “worst” thing I got. I also ordered a load of cleaning products since I moved in with very little and now have realized just how much I am missing. We’ll see when I have the energy to deal with that.

For dinner, first I was hungry but then I waited to eat so long that it went away so I just had a snack pot and then a propud.

All in all, a very good day!

Week 1, summary

Day 1: 885 kcal
Day 2: 2500 kcal (approx. – a bit of a guess)
Day 3: 1240 kcal
Day 4: 1209 kcal
Day 5: 1350 kcal
Day 6: 1728 kcal
Day 7: 1275 kcal





I feel like I might have measured that wrong somewhere. We’ll see…


Day 7

2 black coffees, 0 kcal
2 Belvita breakfast bars, 140 kcal
1 sweet and sour thai box, 495 kcal
1 beef with mash, 640 kcal
a bowl of fruit



I am not feeling too good after yesterday’s fail. Physically I am alright but a bit of a queasy stomach, however, mentally I just feel so depressed. Not even a full week and I failed… that is so me…

Have been cleaning most of the day. The place has looked like shite for a while, although to be fair, it’s mostly a few misplaced items and it needs a good wipe down and a vacuuming so it’s not actually that bad. It just takes time. I moved into this place about two months ago and it is the biggest place I have ever lived in so I’m not used to having quite so much to do when I clean. Previously it’s taken half an hour plus doing the dishes but now it takes maybe three hours if I do it properly which I want to do since it’s such a nice place. I haven’t mopped the floors since I moved in so did that today which is one of the things I’ve been meaning to do for a whiiiiiiiiile. It looks much nicer. Also did my laundry again.

The weather outside is quite shitty so this was a good day to be spending on cleaning.

Day 6

a few bites of a GI-box, chicken curry, approx. 100 kcal
1 snack pot, 252 kcal
175 grams of crisps, 822 kcal
100grams of chocolate, 554 kcal



Got up really late today – at 11 to be more exact – because I am sooooo tired and I figured that after having gotten up early for two days in a row and then the issues I had the previous nights I had earned it. So I skipped my usual breakfast of Belvita and had my lunch quite early instead. The only problem was that it was completely horrid and I could only force myself to have a few bites. Threw the rest away.

Because I was dead set on going into town today I did not have the time to get something else to eat and I actually felt alright in terms of hunger so I just left it as was. Unfortunately, when I got into town the hunger got out of control and by the time I got home I was dizzy, my head was spinning and I was shaking due to it. So I quickly grabbed a snack pot (pasta bolognese) to still the worst of it. After that I felt much better.

In town I got some skin care products which I ran out of a few days ago and was too lazy to go get and two flower boxes for my balcony. They are out of zink which is exactly what I was looking for and I found them in a store that I wasn’t planning on going to but walked past and just went in to have a look. Unfortunately, they were too big to carry around town so I had to go back home and it was then too late to go back out – it’s Saturday so most stores close at six. I was going to go to the flower pot store but the pots will still be there next week so it is fine.


Still need to get flowers for them but I’ll figure it out later.

THEN I had to go to the grocery store since I’ve run out of more or less everything and the new delivery couldn’t be scheduled for tomorrow – I’ll have to wait for Monday evening – so I went and as I’ve said before, I just can’t not buy crap while I’m there. I guess the hunger of the day also got to me. So I got a bag of crisps and a bar of chocolate and I ate it. F* me!!! Such a fail! I did however, try to stay within a 2000 calorie limit for the day which I actually managed to do which is a good thing. Usually when I do this I get a big bag of crisps (300 grams) and two chocolate bars and today I “just” got the 175 gram bag which was also reduced fat – which I know really doesn’t do all that much but still – and a single chocolate bar. It’s still a fail but somewhere in this I have to recognize that it’s an improvement.

After having binged I put together the last chair and got rid of all the cardboard so my apartment looks a lot better now. I’ll have to clean tomorrow, though, since I’ve had too much stuff scattered around making it difficult.


See you tomorrow.

Day 5

2 black coffees, 0 kcal
2 Belvita breakfast bar, 140 kcal
1 GI-box, beef stew with bulgur, 480 kcal
1 prepackaged meal, beef with mash, 630 kcal
0.5 honey dew melon (I don’t count kcal in fruit)
3 carrots with hummus, 100 kcal




Got up early this morning because I had another delivery scheduled for the morning but it didn’t show up. Again… for the third time… I’ll have to call customer service AGAIN and it is so freaking annoying!

On the plus side, I weighed myself right when I got up and after having my morning wee and the result was awesome! minus 2.7 kg!!!!! I am so happy! I am actually surprised since I have only worked out two out of four days and because my calorie intake isn’t all that low. 1200-1300 kcal might sound little (or maybe not?) but keep in mind that I am on vacation and am mainly staying home sitting down so there is not a whole lot of physical activity throughout the day. Also, I do realize that most of that is probably water weight but still…!

My main problem right now is that I am hungry ALL. THE. TIME.

I had lunch at noon which was a GI box which is a fair meal – not a huge meal but definitely not a small one – and while I was eating I started to feel full. Half an hour later I went: “I’m starving; what can I eat?” and it took a second before: “wait a minute… I JUST ate!?”. I keep drinking because I know it’s good for you but it doesn’t seem to do anything other than making me run to the bathroom every ten minutes. It definitely doesn’t make me less hungry.

Because I have no will power I ate half a honey dew melon an hour later which I guess is better than candy or other things but it felt so unnecessary. I’ve decided to not count calories in fruit and veg since I am trying to become more of a healthy eater and if I do I will probably cut them out completely and you really shouldn’t. Not yet anyway. I am of course trying not to eat too much fruit per day – one or two fruits really shouldn’t do any harm but I do realize eating a lot of it it will amount to quite a bit of sugar and calories. I also realize that some fruit are better and some are worse – grapes for instance are high in carbohydrates which isn’t good while an orange or apple is much better for you even if it is quite high in sugar.

Gaaaaawd! This is not easy!

Day 4

2 black coffees, 0 kcal
2 Belvita brekfast bars, 140 kcal
1 GI box, meat with cauliflower gratin, 440 kcal
1 prepackaged meal, chicken tikka masala, 625 kcal
0.5 honeydew melon
1 Celsius energy drink, 4 kcal



This will be real short because its half past midnight…

Woke up real early because I had a deliver scheduled and they came right on time which was great! 4 new kitchen chairs! Awesome! Spent a bit of today putting them together and they look really nice! Then I took it easy for a while, had lunch, got ready and then got on the phone with the customer service of our post office. They managed to “lose” one of my packages and now claimed to have found it again so I had to call them to schedule a delivery. They will be here tomorrow. Then I went to collect a small package from the local collection place which is in a grocery store… I so almost gave into buying something unhealthy while I was there but my brain went ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! and I left quick as f*.


The little package was from The Body Shop and I got three things – a body lotion, a body scrub and a face mask. Used all three of them now in the evening.


And now I am going to bed. Good night!